I’m feeling a bit down today. A little off. Really moody.
I had a different post planned for today that I was trying to finish up this morning, but I was really not feeling it at all. I didn’t like how it had turned out. I wasn’t really inspired for it to even be fixed. So I just scrapped it and accepted that nothing was going up on my blog today.
Well, the day progressed and I went to buy groceries and I made myself a turkey sandwich. For some reason in this time, my mood totally plummeted. I was in a horrible mood buying groceries and I literally cried while making my turkey sandwich.
I honestly don’t know. Today just wasn’t my day, and that’s okay.
I decided to just let myself have today as a bad day. I wasn’t going to worry about getting up that blog post or going to the gym or eating well. I was just going to let myself have a day to sulk and feel better the next.
Sometimes you just have those days. It’s a bad day and you don’t even know why.
I think what I learned from today is the power of accepting that some days just aren’t going to be great, aren’t going to be productive, aren’t going to be anything, really. They are just blah days, and it’s okay to let them happen.
While I was making that turkey sandwich I decided how I was going to let this bad day just be survivable. My goal wasn’t to make it a good day. It wasn’t to make it a productive day. It was simply to make it survivable.
So, I made my turkey sandwich. I had some strawberries because I just bought strawberries and they were lookin’ good. I also got some chips and dip because forget you, wholesome meal! Today is a bad day. I even thought to myself, ‘I might have a Pepsi, even though soda is something I usually avoid. Today is a bad day’.
I decided I was going to spend the literal rest of the day watching YouTube because I’m addicted to it and I normally try to limit myself, but not today. And if there was something else I felt like doing, I’d do that. Or if I didn’t feel like doing something else, then I won’t do anything else.
Today was going to be a bad day and that was going to be okay.
This act of self-love, simply allowing myself the mood I was in, managed to make me feel just a little bit better. Before this, I was thinking only about ways to survive this bad day externally, but now it was as if I were there for myself. I was patient with myself. I let myself cope with my emotions instead of pushing them aside.
There’s a sort of stigma about being sad that comes accidentally with the fact that generally, we do not want to be sad.
We feel like we can’t be sad.
We feel like we have to be happy and motivated and productive all the time.
I think what I realized today is that sometimes it’s healthier to just let yourself feel whatever you are feeling, instead of constantly trying to change it or improve it or make it last. Sometimes this is just the kind of self-acceptance you need to make yourself feel at ease internally, whether or not your bad day goes away.
I understood pretty quickly what accepting today as a bad day meant to me. I know that I’m not a self-destructive person, and ironically, letting myself have the bad day made this crystal clear.
I was validating myself and my emotions, even though externally there was honestly nothing wrong.
So, here I am. I had a little extra coffee today and then felt inspired, amidst the bad day, to write this post and share with you my revelations. Not what I expected to do at all today.
Today was a bad day, and I let it be.
Sometimes you owe it to yourself this act of self-love.